Ten Conyo–mandments!
by Gerry Avelino and Arik Abu
1. Thou shall make gamit “make+pandiwa”
“Let’s make pasok na to our class!”
“Wait lang! I’m making kain pa!”
“Come on na, we can’t make hintay anymore!”
2. Thou shall make kalat “noh”, “di ba” and “eh” in your pangungusap
“I don’t like to make lakad in the baha nga, noh? Eh di ba it’s like, so ewww, di ba?
“What ba? Stop nga being maarte noh!”
“Eh as if you want naman also, di ba?
3. When making describe a whatever, always say “It’s SO pang–uri!”
“It’s so malaki, you know, and so mainit!”
“I know right? So sarap nga eh!”
“You’re making me inggit naman, I’ll make bili nga my own burger.”
4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation “dude”, “tsong” or “pare”
“Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare.” - (mikey: ENGANAL = Engineering Analysis in DLSU, FYI.)
“I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh.”
5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
“My bag is so bigat today, you know.”
“I know, right! We have to make dala pa kase the jumbo Physics book eh!”
6. Make gawa the plural of pangalans like in English or Spanish
“I have so many tigyawats, oh!”
7. Like, when you can make kaya, always like. Like, I know right?
“Like it’s so init naman!”
“Yeah! The air–con, it’s like sira kase eh!”
8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
“Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?”
“It’s so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?”
9. Make gamit of plenty of abbreviations, you know, daglat?
“Like OMG! It’s like traffic sa EDSA.”
“I know, right? It’s so kaka!”
“Kaka?”
“Kakaasar!”
10. Make gamit the pinakamarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!
“I’m like, making aral at the Arrhneow!”
“Me naman, I’m from Lazzahl!”
—
Ahahahaha langyang “Arrhneow” yan!!! LOL!!!
Maraming salamat kay Lesly para sa email na to! 
August 28th, 2008 at 7:50 am
it was so aliw naman the e mail u kuha… is he from arrrneoww ba? haha….
may mga ganitong tao pabang magsalita?
August 28th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Like OMG dude! This is like, so aliw, you know? Grabe, I’m so making tawa my ass off, you know, pwet ko. Sobrang tawa talaga I like, make bitaw tuloy sa chair ko and like, laglag ako sa floor. Basag tuloy tumbongs ko, you know?
August 28th, 2008 at 8:03 am
like yeah nga ehhhhh. so kakatawa talaga this email that i made tanggap from my friend and was like made sulat by these two dude pares from i dont know where nga ehhhhhh. basta all i know, it’s really like so aliw talaga sobra! daba yaya?
August 28th, 2008 at 8:44 am
LOL. I wanna learn the conyo lingo! The Untechie and GP are so galing. haha
August 28th, 2008 at 8:56 am
like duh, cess. practice makes like, perfect talaga daba? kaya if you wanna make tuto the way we make salita, just make aral and make tambay with like, people like us kayaaa.
LOL. shet tama na.
August 28th, 2008 at 9:18 am
duh!!! how conyonically baduy can people be??? ’nuff of this stuff!!! this is like…you know…soooo kaka, as in, soooo kakainis na…sobrah!!! why not na lang speak in the binoculars, debah??? maybe naman you know na? right?
LOL. shet…lowla conya…
August 28th, 2008 at 9:30 am
hahaha lowla naman you’re so kaka tawa talaga as in like sohper!!!
August 28th, 2008 at 10:33 am
pamilyar yung arrneow. hahaha.
astig. so sosyal… try nga naten conyo talk lang buong araw pag nagkita kits. haha. sagwa.
August 28th, 2008 at 10:36 am
grrrr…anung sosyal dun??….sosyal may bat…
este my butt….hahahahha!
August 28th, 2008 at 10:43 am
leyn like sige im so excited naman with your suggestion as in like wow talagaaaaaaaa dabaaaaaaa!
roxy sige na make subok na to make salita like ussssssss sige na dabaaaaa
LOL!!! tae!
August 28th, 2008 at 10:44 am
why is da sow?
super aliw naman to make basa things like this…
so miss you na guyz davah!
so wala lang!
August 28th, 2008 at 11:08 am
grabe. sobrang benta!
August 28th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
[…] View post details at Greenpinoy […]
August 28th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
UNSA MAN-I?
hahaha.
bwakang mga conyo yan.
naglalaho na sila.
daig na sila ng mgA CALL CENTER AGENTS!
agent: “have you eat ne?”
-ano daw?!!! bwahahah!
August 28th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
hahahahaah ibang breed naman ang CC englisheros haha
August 28th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
oh my gosh! so funny naman,I’m making tawa-tawa na..
August 28th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
OMG! It’s so, galing that have think, you know, as in naisip u ang that kind of topic. Its so, very creative, really so much…di ba noh… As in sobrang funny talaga…harharhar!
Ewwwsss…sumasakit pati dulo ng kuko.
August 28th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
OMFG! This is sooo nakakatawa! Like, ever!!! If ever, I meet conyo people make speak like this in the mall or whatever. I’ll make palo palo their heads… It’s so kaka kaya, di ba?
August 28th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
ULTIMATE COÑOMANDMENT:
Thou shall pronounce as such, as in bigkas, as if you have “bwey-sesh” (braces) in the ngala-ngala.
LOL
August 28th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
well well well… look do we have here! hahaha
ako rin magaaral sa arreneoh! heller? hahaha
August 28th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
like w’ever. LOL!!!
August 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
harharhar mamamatay ako sa inis kung ganito ka arte kausap ko…. im gonna sipa the face and make sampal ang kumausap sa kin ng ganito…joke
August 28th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
poteks! ang sakit sa ulo nito.. naalala ko tuloy un classmate nmen nla theng nun college na ngaaral dw sya sa lazzahl! kala nmen nka bweysesh kng magshalita wla nman pla..
August 28th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
gosh naman so arte naman that girl ehhhhh LOL!
August 28th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
OW-EHM-GEE! This is so like funny ya know?!I swear, this post made my uber boring day. Like hello?! this is so so true, i love GP na talaga like to the nth level.
August 28th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
heeeeeey friendster, i didnt make sulat this ha. like i just made tanggap thru email. LOL!
August 28th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
like oh my god, this is like so funny ever! I remember my professor in college making turo to us that its not Ateneo daw, its “Arrhneow”. And were like sooo laughing our ass off kasi we thought he’s making patawa.. LOL!
SHET. Parang nasaniban lang ng kung anong conyotic na ewan. ahahaha!
August 28th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
@gp yeah i know. I just want to like you know make acknowledge you for like posting this you know. LOL
August 28th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
This is sooo not my language as in, like, this is sooo old school yah know like that school in Balara, like that old as in… *LOLz*
August 28th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
OMFG this made sakit my ulo ha.
grabe.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:53 am
ahehehehe! lolz asust
August 29th, 2008 at 2:36 am
WTF?!?! i’m so hating this post nah kaya…. it’s so kaka as in kakabrain damage!!! di ba?!?!
it’s not sosyal for me ot’s so baduy-ish… and its making my nose bleed with bobotic grammars all over…
god if your like speaking this your so eeew!!! hahaha!!! wafak!!!
August 29th, 2008 at 6:34 am
ay!!! kakabad trip naman ang post na ito! kasi may naalala lang ako..
hahahah!!! nakakatawa lang talaga…
August 29th, 2008 at 7:40 am
my gosh! kakawindang un ah… buti na lang walang conio 101 sa skul… pero kwela un ah… hohoho!
August 29th, 2008 at 9:14 am
galing mo GP!!
napatawa mo ako dito!! :))
naaalala ko dati kong school. :))
August 29th, 2008 at 9:18 am
one time nung nag field trip kami.. sa sobrang bored, nag conyo lingo ako.
with the voice and everything.
muntik na nila akong masampal!! :))
August 29th, 2008 at 9:31 am
ow-my-jeans! this is like soooooo in! as in loob!
August 29th, 2008 at 9:48 am
WTFOMGLOLZROTFLITALYJAPANPHILIPPINES!!! super dami naman nag make tawa to this post. thanks talaga super to the two talino dudes that made sulat this article. mwah! as in!!! salt!!!
August 29th, 2008 at 11:43 am
as in!! salt!!
benta!! :))
August 29th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
laslas sa leeg ang maririnig kong magsalita ng ganyan hahaha.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
LOL silver!
popoy, why naman you make laslas the leeg of the utaw that will speak this way haaaaa? morbid naman super dabaaaaa?
August 29th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
,whahahahahahaha……………….mga DAKILANG C0NY0!!!!!!!!!!
August 30th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
LOL!! like… this is so like… funny…. ya knaw… nakakatawa…. ahahaha (Kris A. laugh)….
PARE… idol na kita… napadaan lang ako sa blogs mo… xet!!!!! you’re da man!!! as in like, you’re da tao!!!!
Tindi!!!!!!!! IDOL!!!
August 31st, 2008 at 12:14 am
hahaha. this is like, so mabenta. i was like, making tumbling all over the kwarto na. gash, gp, you’re sooo nakakatawa talaga davah! hahaha talaga. major!
August 31st, 2008 at 4:52 am
pagsasampalin ko yan eh.
August 31st, 2008 at 12:03 pm
omg this post talaga is sooooo benta i swear!!!
August 31st, 2008 at 8:37 pm
tang ina…. if ever matutuloy akong magaral sa lasalle, sana hindi ako uuwi ng davao na ganito magsalita…
if my friends and family won’t kill me, I WILL… hahahahaha…
September 1st, 2008 at 9:14 am
hahahahahahah ok! LOL
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Ugh, like this post is so uhzar it makes tuto to all of those naman na hindi bagayzzzz. Like ugh, nuff naman na this! It’s so frustratening!
September 7th, 2008 at 2:53 am
anuber? so kaka naman this post eh… you make me hawa hawa on how magsalita like this way di ba? you know, muwarte!
i will subok to speak ganito with my friendster… even if i know that they will sampal and tadyak me… i will pa rin.. you know, kulit kulit… kahit na sobrang ewww… right da ba?
September 8th, 2008 at 9:39 am
hahahahaha like yeah daba?!
September 9th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
oh my gushers. this is like soo enjoy talaga i-read. I mean, gush naman. This is so panalo talaga. I was like OH MY GOD talaga. hahahha!
September 9th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
gush talaga?! LOL
September 11th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
i sooo love this!! hey im gonna like link you in my multiply site, i love it! you’re like suuuperr cool
September 11th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
oh my gulay. i can’t make bitaw of cheska garcia from my thought kasi naman dude sya lang yung like konya if magsalita as in nag-aaral in both Arrhneow and Lazzahl within the same trimester. pero it’s true talaga, as in hindi lang sya and Kristeta pero dito sa mga nag-totour sa singapore na pinay, it’s like they gotta sound like konya para naman fit ang kanilang existence in a first world country. as in.
yung pinauso ng mga may bwesesh na word is “parang” with an aRRR of someone who is buyoy/bulol.
“parrang type na kita. as in parrang in love na me. kasi parrang we’re meant to multiply na.” nyahahahha.
winner ang post na ‘to. puro text, walang picture so parrang winner talaga. as in.
(:
September 12th, 2008 at 9:21 am
oh tats, im so tatsed! LOL!!!
wow iMart you’re like parrrang grocery ng mga everything i like iPhone and awwwwll. so saya graba!
September 15th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
i was so laughing my ass out habang nagbabasa neto. as in.
like, everytime we go tambay sa mall, you know, there are so many teenagers na ganyan magsalita (parang ako parang hindi teenager).
nagko-conyo lingo kami at school just for fun lang, you know, pangkatuwaan lang. hahaha.
and yeah, ung “parang” na mey aRRR sound, it’s so irritating kaya, like, it’s so gay. mey classmate ako na guy but ganun sha magsalita ng aRRR, so so eew talaga, daba?
panalo talaga tong post na to, as in winner.
like, OMG, like, HOMAYGAD! wahahahaha. lol.
September 16th, 2008 at 9:22 am
like, parrrrrrang ganito? LOL
September 17th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Hi.
I’m the original author of this (like, I know right >.>) and I’d like to say I’m glad you enjoyed this. 
I’m from La Salle, actually. XD
September 17th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
waaaaaaahahahahahahahaha IKR!!!
like, so salamat talaga for making sulat this stuff! my gowwwsh so bilib naman ako sayo dude parrrre repapips like bro right?!
November 1st, 2008 at 10:45 pm
ahahaha its like soo funny kaya! nakakahawa ba ito?
ang cool! pwede ba mag-ask ng permission irepost sa blog ko?
tapos acknowledge ko kayer? thanks.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:06 am
go ahead
acknolwledge mo rin yung mga authors! 